You have all heard the story of the Emperor’s New Clothes. If you forgot, you can read it again here.
In the story, the adults are fooled by their own conditioning into believing that a thing must be true because the Emperor says it is so. Although the Emperor’s clothes are, in fact, invisible – everybody behaves as if they exist.
The child doesn’t see the clothes because he is not deluded by other peoples’ rules about authority, about obedience, and about reality.
We all grow up with these rules. Some rules are open-ended, useful and benign. For example – rules that say we should give other people a fair hearing, or that we should check the facts and get advice before making important decisions.
Other rules are rigid, obsessional and malignant. For example – rules that say that some people belong to an inferior race, or that we are ‘evil’ if we disobey our parents.
Some rules can actually cause delusions. Meaning that Headmind ignores, over-rides or distorts what our eyes and ears tell us.
Here are a few examples:
- Some people don’t ‘hear’ their children being rude because they have a rule that children should be treated differently from adults.
- Some people don’t feel anger because they were taught that anger is ‘bad’ and should be ignored.
- Some people don’t ‘see’ their partners showing them love because it was drilled into them that they are unlovable.
- Some people don’t notice they are getting stressed because they are under an obligation to be SuperWoman.
Until a child goes to School his exposure to conditioning is generally minimal (although some parents do start way too early). This gives him a number of advantages:
- Living in the moment. Do you remember how endless the summer holidays were when you were a child? Because each day was spent in eternity?
- Spontaneous expression of emotions. So a child can be gentle one moment, angry the next and laughing a minute later – living in the stream of feeling and going with the flow.
- A child tells things they way they seem to her – not the way they ought to be.
- The child doesn’t pretend to be someone she is not (except in play) so her energy isn’t exhausted by acting a part.
- Connected to Bodymind – fully aware of their changing feelings, needs and perceptions.
- Creative, playful and imaginative. Playing infinite games rather than finite games.
So In Reverse Therapy we argue that the Child of Five ‘gets it’ when Adults often don’t. In fact the heading to this blog could say:
Life is So Ridiculously Simple that ONLY a Child of Five could get it.
If we adults are to get back to being wise we need to recognise, unlearn and release our conditioning and turn rules into choices, rather than obsessions. We can start that right now coming to our senses.
Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.
The Earl of Rochester