I received this report from a regular reader of this blog the other week who would like to share his experience of Reverse Therapy with other readers:
“Everyone likes a scratch but on the evening of December 18th 2008, my scratching became so bad my legs started to bleed.
Like many busy people stuck in Headmind I put off dealing with my health problems and hoped they would go away of their own accord. I left the next day for a two-week vacation in the Middle East but when I got back the itching had spread and my legs were covered in sores. I went to the GP who informed me that I had Psoriasis. I had heard of it but did not know much about it. He explained that it was caused by the body replacing the skin cells in days rather than weeks, leaving red sores and silvery skin flakes behind. He gave me a prescription for some cream but it was not effective and, over the next few months, the psoriasis spread to other parts of my body.
I went back to the doctor and explained that the condition was worse and he prescribed a stronger cream. Over the four months I had been unwell I had made some notes which I relayed on to him. I said: ‘I notice that when I am barefoot at home at the weekends the problem is not as bad’. The GP said: ‘Yes, try leaving your feet exposed to the fresh air’. I said: ‘I also notice that using the sun bed helps’. He said: ‘Yes, even though we normally don’t recommend use of sun beds in your case it could help’. I said: ‘I also notice that when I exercise on a regular basis it tends to be less of a problem’. He said: ‘Yes, exercise is a good idea’. I sat there for a few seconds and my first thought was: ‘why is he just repeating my ideas back to me?’ My second thought was: ‘And if this is correct, then why didn’t he tell me four months ago?’. At any rate, I paid no further visits to that quarter.
The new cream failed to work and, by now, the psoriasis was visible to other people. It showed on my hands, my arms, my upper body and even on my face. It was so bad I was having difficulty sleeping because it itched so much, and then it bled so badly that it became ugly to look at. It created piles of white, flakey, dust; the dead skin that was being shed at an ever-faster rate each day. I felt terrible about having this illness and it made me quite depressed. The worse it got the more worried I became and when I read reports on the internet about people who had had it all their lives I started to despair that I would never get rid of it.
I had been familiar with Reverse Therapy for a few years, as I had studied it under John Eaton in 2006, although I have never practiced. Neither had I connected my knowledge of Bodymind to the causes of my own condition. And nor had I realised that the cure had been in my own hands all the time.
A good friend of mine, a practitioner of Reverse Therapy, gave me the wake-up call, when she told me:
‘Have you worked out, yet, what your body is trying to warn you about when it creates those symptoms in your skin?’
In that moment, I instantly knew the answer to that question. But it was not an answer I particularly liked admitting to myself.
Two years before I formed a relationship with what I thought was a very sweet woman with a beautiful 2-year old daughter. I quickly fell in love with her and formed a very strong connection with the child.
My partner told me that she was separated and awaiting a divorce. Later on, I found out that this was not true; that her husband was, in fact, away working in the United States and she was in regular contact with him and there were no real plans to get a divorce. Later, I was told that he had ‘not been nice to her’ and had deserted her and the baby.
I was reluctant to get involved in such a complex situation but found myself drawn in. I felt great compassion for the woman and her little girl, who seemed to be the innocent parties in this, and set about helping them. Her economic situation was very bad, as she was effectively a single mother and had no job, with the additional burden of looking after a child on her own, without help or financial support from anyone. For a while we were happy and my partner and the little girl lived with with me for part of the week.
All this came to a sudden end when her husband came back from the United States and told her he wanted to resume the marriage. She decided to go back to him. The main reason, she told me, was that the little girl needed to be with her father. This was very distressing for me, as I learnt, also, that I would be unable to have contact with her daughter any more. I told her that, under those conditions, it was too painful for me to have any further contact with her and I should be left in peace to get on with my life.
From there on, I received regular emails, texts and phone calls from her pleading for money. It turned out the husband was out of work (I discovered this had been the case for years) and was, in fact a kind of play-boy. She would beg me for money for food, gas, electricity, petrol, baby clothes and, even, spending money. Feeling sorry for her and the child, I regularly gave in although I knew, at some level, that much of that money was going into her husband’s pockets.
During all the months that this went on my Psoriasis appeared. I had failed to connect to my emotions over the way in which I was being used, and my frustration at being caught in a trap: feeling responsible for the child and yet being manipulated.
The Psoriasis symptoms were my body’s way of alerting me to the fact that I needed to disengage from the banana about having to be a martyr; re-assert the boundaries around me; and change the way in which I was helping the child. But my personal Headmind had ignored these emotions and possibilities because it was over-involved with the ego-position of ‘powerful man’ and ‘helper’ (I am an Enneagram 8 doing quite a lot of work on the 2 position).
Once I gave up communicating from the ego, relinquished the banana about having to be a saviour, and stopped being a victim, things started to change for the better. I told my ex-partner not to contact me any more. I told her I would pay for the child’s nursery fees and this would come direct from my bank account. The money she saved on nursery fees she could use to feed and clothe her. But I would not be responsible for either her or her husband.
Within days the pain had gone and, slowly, my skin went back to normal; without any medication whatever. But, just as I was thinking I was over the worse, a test of my new-found integrity came the following week when my ex-partner called to ask if she could borrow my car as she wanted to take her husband on holiday. I refused point blank.
Seven days after that the psoriasis disappeared completely. My close family and friends were astounded at the speed at which it disappeared knowing, as they did, the history of my condition and how I was using an alternative to medicine to treat it.
If it were not for Reverse Therapy I would still be suffering from this terrible disease. It is possible that my personal Bodymind might have used yet more symptoms in order to force me to change. In looking back at the temporary relief I experienced when I used the cream or the sun-bed I now realise that this was the equivalent of painting over a crack in the ceiling when water was gushing in from upstairs. It was only when I addressed the deeper cause, saw through the Headmind camouflage about my motives, dared to connect to my emotions, and acted on the symptom-message that I achieved the break-through. In doing so I felt, intuitively, that Bodymind was relieved that I had ‘gotten it’ and, with one small exception (see below) I have not received any further symptoms over the past two years.
A few weeks ago I again ran into my ex-partner by chance in the street. I was polite and chatty and must have given her the wrong impression as she started texting me again, giving out heavy hints that she would soon be needing more ‘help’. A few days after digesting these messages, I noticed that my legs had started itching again: a signal for me to tell her (politely) not to text me any more. Bodymind is ever vigilant and will be quick to remind me to protect myself against people who seek to take advantage of my generosity. Naturally, this experience has taught me a lot more about how Bodymind works, and how Headmind and the Ego lead me astray. I am very fortunate that Reverse Therapy saved me from years of pain and I tell this story in order to help other people avoid the same fate.”