9 Habits of Resilient People (No. 1)

This is the first article in a series of nine. 

The first habit is: Resilient people tell it the way it is

Another way of putting it is that resilient people are authentic. They can’t lie to themselves and they don’t lie to others. When they are happy they will tell you so; when they need help you will hear that too.

This truth-telling rests on deeper principles. Resilience relies on seeing things the way they really are (see Habit No. 5). Some delusions are based on wishful thinking; others are based on Junkmind worries. Resilient people don’t listen to worries and neither do they kid themselves when they are really up against it. Seeing the way things really are has survival value: if you know the truth about things then you are better equipped to handle adversity.

Another principle relates to emotional intelligence (see habit No. 4). Because emotions are the brain’s way of mobilising us to take action it is vital that we both recognise and articulate our emotions. Resilient people will therefore tell you when they are sad or scared in the same way they will tell you when they are angry. They will freely express their joy and excitement too. They know how to move closer towards their friends and they also know how to defend themselves against attack. 

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