What are personal boundaries?
A common source of what some people call stress is to become over-loaded with demands from other people. Another, equally common, is to become so isolated that you have no one to turn to when things get bad.
Knowing when to open up to people so that they become your friends and supporters, and when to say ‘No’ to people when you can’t take on any more obligations is what personal boundaries are for.
A personal boundary is like an invisible wall that you put up when you need space and time to yourself and put down again when it is time to develop your relationships. They are especially important to have in place when dealing with the real emergencies of life and you either have to ask for help, or get on and deal with it alone.Personal boundaries are set and maintained through the use of assertive communication.
Resilience comes from keeping personal boundaries
Resilient people have a strong sense of self-preservation and alongside that they have a strong sense of yours. They respect your rights and your need for personal space, and in return they ask that people respect theirs.
Resilient people don’t take on more they can handle and balance what they do for others with what they do for themselves. In the long run this ensures survival. Stressed, unhappy people tend not to be healthy people. And if you are constantly ill you won’t be able to care for yourself or for others.
Resilient people also value independence and self-sufficiency. They encourage it in their children because they foresee a time when their children will have to manage without them. The same goes for friendships and partnerships, for a relationship with a needy person is not a relationship between equals, but one based on dependency. That is why a real friend sometimes has to say ‘No’ to you: because she may be encouraging resiliency in you.