Resilient people seek out resilience in others
In article No. 4 in this series I mentioned that resilient people actively reach out to others when they need help. The people they ask will most likely be people who are as (or more) resilient as themselves. For who better to ask than someone who knows how to deal with a crisis? For that reason resilient people will notice resilience in other people, and will recruit them to their network of friends and supporters.
Modelling resilient people
However, there is a deeper reason for this trait: it is called modelling. One way in which human beings acquire life-skills is to observe and imitate the traits we observe in other people as we grow up. Our parents will, in most cases, be the first to be modelled. Then we will go on to do the same job on our teachers, mentors and other children we admire. Many of us will also model people we have never met: these are the people we ‘meet’ in books, films and on TV. In fact most of the habits I have described in this series of articles will be things we have learned and acquired from people we met on the stages of life’s way. Some of those people, especially if they recognise resilience in us, will become partners, friends and colleagues.
So if you thought that there was a habit in one of these articles that you don’t have yourself but would like to know more about then find someone who has it – and observe them closely. Failing that you could always find a coach or a therapist who can teach it to you.
Characteristics of resilient people
How does one resilient person recognise resilience in others? One answer to that is to look at the other eight articles in this series for some clues to the characteristics of resilient people.
However, the immediate identifier is more of a feeling than anything else. Truly resilient people are comfortable inside their own skins. They radiate assurance and integrity; giving you the sense that they are always just being themselves. This may show up in the way they make eye contact, or in their voice, or in the relaxed way they sit or move around. Or it might be an indefinable presence.