Your thoughts are not yours
No one, not even the boldest scientist, has yet explained where thoughts come from. They arrive like uninvited guests at a wedding, and disappear just as mysteriously. One might say they belong to no one in particular, though most people claim ownership. To think a thought is to assume it belongs to you. But here begins the first deception.
Where thoughts actually come from is still a mystery. The best surmise is that they originate as electro-chemical exchanges between neurons in the brain. But while some centres in the brain, such as the Default Mode Network are active in thought processing, there doesn’t seem to be any specific brain area responsible for thought production.
Nor do we know for sure how these electro-chemical events are translated into the thoughts we experience in consciousness: internal voices, word-pictures and images. Nor either do we know where they go when they drop out of consciousness.
Whatever the truth of the matter, one thing is certain – your thoughts are not your own, and nor do you have any control over them. They just happen, then they disappear (unless you pay attention to them).
Here is a test: do you know what your next thought is going to be? Thought not.
Many thoughts are just mental noise
The brain produces tens of thousands of thoughts per day (the exact number is unknown). However the vast majority of these are background noise: static, repetitive echos just like that song that keeps going through your head.
A good example relates to ‘food noise’ and other cravings. Repetitive chatter about the junk you need to eat when you’re not hungry, or the urge to indulge in drinks and cigarettes that have no purpose beyond their consumption.
You can observe this in meditation. Sit still, and watch the mind: thoughts arise—random, strange, trivial, judgmental. One moment it’s about what you had for breakfast (or what you should have had), the next about what your partner might be up to, the one after that a stray memory. And yet these are the prompts we use to guide us through the day ahead.
A lot of ‘your’ thoughts are actually other people’s thoughts
Many of the rules, judgments and assumptions you consider to be yours come from your parents and teachers. Yet those people in turn sourced the thoughts they gave you from elsewhere.
For example:
- The language you were given to learn. Which came to you with ready-made nouns, pronouns, verbs and concepts.
- Social rules and customs, embedded in the instructions you were given in childhood.
- Ideas related to you through books, films, newspapers and social media.
- Judgments about right and wrong, good and bad inherent in the social code.
All of these pre-programmed thoughts are supplemented by the thoughts your brain generates in relation to your personal experiences. Such ideas may have only a tangential relationship with what actually happens to you.
Thoughts are generated by random association
Think of the brain as an artificial intelligence device; perhaps the finest ever created. It stores millions of records related to every experience you ever had. Funny, painful, joyous, miserable – and some that were life-threatening. These are multi-sensory records: visuals, sounds, sensations, smells, feelings and the thoughts you had at the time.
Every minute, every day, this device scans present moment experiences and compares it to the records. If it finds a single match neurons fire and a thought pops into consciousness. The association might be entirely trivial: a coloured jacket, a motor-bike roar, or an invitation that lands on your door-mat.
The thought that manifests might be a memory flashback or what appears to be your own voice speaking to you:
- “Something bad is going to happen…”
- “Remember that time when…”
- “Watch out…”
The voice comes with a feeling patch. A lurch in your gut, an intake of breath, or accelarating heart-beat.
If you are not vigilant you fuse with the thought and make it your own, accepting it as gospel truth. And yet the whole split-second operation is based on random association and mimicry.
When you see this for yourself you understand more deeply how wayward many thoughts actually are. That they bear only a passing relationship with what happens.
Thoughts are not facts
Many thoughts are speculative predictions. With little relation to what is actually going on out there. Instead they are interpretations, evaluations, fantasies, worries, and stories – mental weather.
Some neuroscientists view the brain as a prediction engine. Thought is largely anticipatory—it simulates outcomes, compares past scenarios, and tries to predict what will happen next. This is useful for survival, but misleading for truth.
The brain is not trying to see clearly—it’s trying to minimize uncertainty and avoid threat. That’s why so many thoughts are worst-case scenarios, self-doubts, or control-seeking narratives.
Many people suffer not because of events but because of the thoughts they believe about events – a discovery that belongs to the ancient stoic philosophers. For instance: “I’m a failure,” “They don’t respect me,” “This shouldn’t have happened.” These aren’t truths—they are narratives, and misleading ones at that.
Thoughts often can be triggered in the brain by emotional charges, social conditioning, past trauma, or the controlling ego. They are alarmist and frequently irrational. And yet we take them seriously, on the basis that they are our thoughts and therefore must be important.
Thoughts foster the illusion of personal control
One class of thoughts appear to be about the self. These are known as ‘I thoughts’: ‘I’m weak’, ‘I’m strong’ or ‘My life is terrible’. They frequently appear as self-judgments of various kinds.
At the basis of these judgments is the assumption that we human beings are in control of our thoughts and actions and can exert control over external events. However, as I have argued in this article here this assumption is a complete delusion. Yet judgments of this kind create enormous suffering for many of us.
Thoughts create most of your suffering
In 2020 two psychologists estimated that the average human brain produces around 6200 thought worms (chains of linked thoughts) each day.
These thought worms can be useful if you are concentrating on a complex task: writing an article, building a machine or preparing a dinner party for six. However, most thought worms are actually harmful if they don’t have a productive goal or aren’t grounded in a task. In fact they play a large part in human suffering.
It is a well founded fact that extended thoughts are at the basis of all anxiety disorders, including panic disorder, phobias and OCD. They are also at the root of clinical depression. These two together account for around 80% of problems clients bring to therapy.
Thought worms often take the form of narratives: stories about the self, stories about distressing experiences in the past, other stories about what might happen next. Thus one thought chain might read: “Because I am this way I can’t face other people. If I go to this gathering I won’t fit in and everybody will be staring at me. Then it will all get too much and I’ll have another panic attack.”
Notice that this type of thought often comes in the form of an (apparent) inner voice dictating the course of events. Seemingly realistic in a tone that mimics the person’s own voice. Yet, in reality, it is a pre-programmed thought chain that is produced automatically whenever the person is facing a challenge of some kind.
The main categories of suffering thoughts include:
-
The “I”-thought: Forms the illusion of a separate self. “I am not good enough.” “I need to prove myself.” “I won’t be able to cope.”
-
Self-judgments: Rooted in conditioning. “I shouldn’t be like this.” “Something’s wrong with me.” “I’m a hopeless case.”
-
Anxious thoughts: Worries, alarming predictions, catastrophizing. Nearly always related to thoughts about the future.
-
Depressive thoughts: Recycled stories of worthlessness, powerlessness, and regret. They don’t reflect current truth; they reflect judgments about past experiences. However, some depressive thoughts relate to the bleak future ahead.
These evaluations, when believed, collapse our awareness into a narrow, reactive identity. We stop seeing clearly. We become the thought.
Beyond Thought: Awareness as Freedom
It is tempting to believe that one must stop thinking altogether. This is neither necessary nor possible. The aim, rather, is to cease believing that thoughts reflect truth. One need not follow every mental whisper. One can, instead, observe it—politely, like a bored guest at dinner.
The key isn’t to stop thinking, but to see thoughts for what they are. This is one basis for Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT).
Each time you encounter a troublesome thought remind yourself that thoughts are not yours and may well belong to others; they come up from the brain by random association; may bear little relationship to anything that is actually happening around you; and may be based on egoistic delusions that lead to personal suffering.
You are not your thoughts. You are the awareness that sees them.
When this is realized—not intellectually but viscerally—thoughts lose their grip. They still appear, but they are not “you.” They are mental weather: clouds in a sky that remains untouched.
You can defuse from thoughts any time you like. See this article for more information on thought defusion.
Practices for Seeing Through Thought
-
Labelling thoughts: Mindfully observe the thoughts and either give them a name (e.g. ‘Donald Duck’) or label them as programs of different kind: ‘Panic.FM’, ‘The Deep Controller’, ‘The Worrier’, etc. This distances you from the thought and keeps you in the Observer position.
-
Question thoughts: Is that thought really true? Is it actually helping anyone? What would be a more realistic/helpful idea?
-
Ask: Does this thought have a useful purpose? Is it grounded in facts and achievable outcomes? Or is it just speculation?
- Return to presence: Follow your breath, sense your body, remain in the now. Thoughts come and go but consciousness is eternal. Use a meditation guide like this one here on my podcast channel if you need further help.
In time, one may discover something unexpected: that beneath the clamour of thought there is stillness; behind the performance, a stage. That stage is awareness—not thought, but that in which thought arises. It makes no claims, issues no warnings, and requires no belief. And it is there, quietly watching, whether we notice it or not.
For more information on therapy for overthinking go to this page here.
Listen to the podcast: Float: The Anxiety Podcast
Free guide: Why Anxiety Won’t Go Away (And What You Can Do Next) – Link here
The book: FLOAT: Exiting the Anxiety-Stress Loop, out now. Click here for the Amazon link
Appointments: For therapy for overthinking click here to make an appointment.